June 23, 2003

Who needs the Onion?

Gephardt Issues Order Making Himself President (2003-06-23) -- Just a day after announcing that he would use executive orders to overturn Supreme Court decisions, Rep. Dick Gephardt, D-MO, announced today that he has appointed himself President of the United States, effective immediately ... President Gephardt has already issued an executive order making it illegal to "challenge the constitutionality of my reign as president."

Clarence Thomas Gets 'Super Vote' On Supreme Court (2003-06-23) -- In a little-noticed addendum to today's Supreme Court ruling allowing universities to use racial factors in some admissions, Justice Clarence Thomas has been granted "super vote" powers on the court.

In a rules change designed to compensate for the court's historical discrimination against blacks, Justice Thomas' vote will now be worth 1.5 votes ... Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, writing for the majority, said, "There's no way we can make up for the Dred Scott decision, but we all feel better now that Clarence gets extra credit for his vote."

When there's ScrappleFace

Posted by Greg Ransom